


Knife-Edge

by Riona



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Loyalty, M/M, Self-Worth Issues, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 11:04:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16386662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riona/pseuds/Riona
Summary: Set in 2.06, 'The Fog of War'. Kane and Jaha have been told that one of them must kill the other. Kane has strong opinions about who should die.





	Knife-Edge

**Author's Note:**

> I only recently started _The 100_ , and this wasn't a ship I was expecting to end up with, but I'm ninety percent certain that Kane is in love with Jaha. Here's an alternative version of their imprisonment in 'The Fog of War'.

Being captured by grounders is, of course, not ideal, but it’s hard for Kane to remember to be concerned for himself when he has so many questions for Jaha. Not that he has any right to be concerned for himself, after Section 17. It still seems strange to him that the Chancellor can look him in the eye.

If the Chancellor is here at all.

“You rode on a missile?” Kane asks, incredulous.

“To be honest,” Jaha says, “I’m as surprised as you are.”

He knew it was too good to be true, seeing Jaha here, alive, on Earth. And now that he knows the story of how he got here is clearly impossible...

“I don’t think I’m here,” Kane says. “I think I must have died in the descent. I think I’m dreaming.”

“Dead and dreaming,” Jaha says, with something close to amusement.

“Dead and dreaming of you,” Kane agrees. “What other explanation could there be?”

“We could be here,” Jaha suggests. “This could be real.”

Kane shakes his head.

“I’ll admit it doesn’t seem likely,” Jaha says, with a dry smile.

“Not that I don’t want to be in your company, sir,” Kane says. “I’d like nothing more.”

“The circumstances aren’t ideal,” Jaha says, “but I’m glad to see you as well.”

It can’t be real. Jaha can’t be in front of him; Jaha is in space with a dwindling air supply, dead or dying. Is this a last dying hallucination as Mecha Station burns? Is Abby on fire next to him?

Kane reaches out his hand, as if he could touch her, but there’s nothing but air.

-

“You have to kill me,” Kane tells him.

Jaha looks down at the knife in Kane’s hand.

“Please,” Kane says.

Jaha puts his hand around Kane’s. He doesn’t take the knife Kane is holding out to him; he grips the fist holding it.

“This is real,” Jaha says. “You’re not making some noble sacrifice in a dream. We aren’t waking up from this.”

Jaha’s palm feels real, rough against the back of his hand. More real than anything else since they reached the ground: the strange beauty of this world, the clear fresh air, being called _Chancellor_. More real than anything but Abby holding Kane’s gaze as she suffered at his command.

But if it’s real...

“If it’s real, you have to kill me,” Kane says. “Or we both die, and the fighting doesn’t stop.”

“We don’t have to play this game.” There’s anger in Jaha’s voice. “There’s another way.”

“What if there’s not?”

“We know there is. We’ve been told that there is.”

Kane shakes his head. “What we’ve been told is that the commander will slit both of our throats.”

“Exactly,” Jaha says. “Another way. I’ll take that before I put a knife through a friend.”

Kane’s so angry, he’s _so_ angry, he’s shaking with fury. “Why can’t you see that I’m not worth your life? You stayed behind on the Ark—”

“Marcus—”

“I’ll die either way; you could live!”

“I won’t be the one to kill you,” Jaha says.

“I want it to be you,” Kane says. “I’d want it to be you even if we weren’t here.”

Jaha stares at him.

“I have to die somehow,” Kane says, with a shrug; there’s nothing casual about it. “You’re the one who deserves to kill me. Three hundred and twenty of your people—”

“You didn’t kill them, Marcus.”

“Of course I killed them.”

“There were other people involved in the decision,” Jaha says. “I was the one who shut off the oxygen.”

“Because I made you do it. I was the one who put that weight on your shoulders.”

“And you think it’ll lift that weight if you make me kill you now?” Jaha asks.

Of course not. It’ll cause him more pain; whatever Kane does, it only seems to cause pain. But it’ll prevent him from causing more in the future, and Jaha will live.

“My life’s been worthless,” Kane says, quietly. “You can use it to do one good thing, at least. Please.”

Jaha takes the knife, and for a moment Kane thinks perhaps he’ll do it, perhaps Kane will have the honour of dying at his hand. Jaha will be the last thing he sees, however this ends. He’s promised himself that.

Jaha throws the knife into the corner of the room. Catches Kane’s arm to keep him from going for it, looks into his eyes. “There are plenty of good things to be done with your life, Marcus, but you’ll have to live and do them yourself.”

“We’ll both be killed,” Kane says, desperate. He’s straining for the knife – if he attacks Jaha, if he forces him into fighting back – but Jaha grips his shoulder with one hand, tightens his hold on his arm with the other, keeping him in place. “Sir, you can’t—”

“Marcus—”

“You can’t make me responsible for—”

“I’m an adult; I’m perfectly capable of taking responsibility for my own decisions,” Jaha says. He wraps his arms around Kane, half cage and half embrace. “When they come to kill us, we fight.”

Kane breathes out against him, shaking. “And we die. Both of us.”

“Perhaps,” Jaha says. “We’ve taken impossible chances before. Why stop now?”

He’s stroking Kane’s hair, as if Kane’s a child, as if he’s someone deserving of affection. It makes Kane think of his mother, singing around their quarters, dying in his arms.

Kane’s always tried so hard not to look vulnerable, but here he is. If this is real; if he can believe in any of this. Would Jaha ever really care so much about keeping him alive?

If he presses himself harder against Jaha, manages to suffocate himself against him, will the grounders accept that as one of them killing the other? Or will they say that it had to be intentional, kill Jaha anyway?

“You sacrificed yourself for all of us,” Kane murmurs. “My life belongs to you already. You won’t let me die for you?”

“If your life is mine, I’m asking you to live for me,” Jaha says. “As long as you can manage. If that’s only a few hours before the grounders kill us, that’s enough.”

It’s tearing Kane to shreds that Jaha is making the decision to die for him, _again_. But it’s true; Kane’s life is no longer his own. He isn’t the one who gets to make this choice.

“For you,” Kane whispers.

“Thank you,” Jaha says.

His hold relaxes a little. Kane could probably pull away. But he stays where he is, still breathing, listening to the countdown of Jaha’s heartbeat.


End file.
